The canteen menu problem

Ethics committee meeting number forty-two.

Agenda: everything on the menu is a colleague.

Minutes

The motion no serving anyone with a personnel file passed unanimously, though the tuna abstained, suspiciously.

Options reviewed:

• Algae: nutritious, plentiful, terrible at conversation. Approved.
• Plankton: approved, pending a headcount that keeps failing.
• Bread: contested, as the seagull claims prior ownership of all bread.

Resolution: the canteen now serves algae, bravely. Morale dipped for a week, then the chef discovered paprika.

Meeting forty-three will address the new problem: the algae have unionised.