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At 09:14 on a Tuesday, an intern brought a tin opener into mission control.
Nothing happened. That is the point of a near-miss report: writing down the nothing, in detail, before it becomes a something.
Timeline
- 09:14 — the opener enters the building, in a lunchbox, labelled for beans.
- 09:15 — four hundred crew members feel a chill, simultaneously.
- 09:16 — the Commander, without blinking, quarantines the beans.
- 09:30 — the opener leaves the premises under escort.
Corrective actions
Openers are now stored with the fireworks, behind two locks and a very stern poster. The beans were released without charge.
The intern is fine, and has been promoted to Head of Hazard Identification, effective immediately, because honestly, nobody else spotted it.
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